Internet marketing is a high-octane industry with lots of competition and opportunity.
It seems like every day, something changes, and so does the landscape of Internet marketing. Whether it’s part of Google’s algorithm or an update to social media ad specifications, there’s always something new that you have to learn.
With an industry in a constant state of flux, it’s sometimes a wonder anything can get done at a micro level.
That’s why we decided to take a look at Internet marketing from a macro level. We took a look at the latest stats on digital marketing strategies, how much companies have invested in them, and how popular they are.
These strategies included some of the biggest outlets and suppliers of strategic tools as well.
For example, we looked at content marketing as a whole, but we also compared the popularity, usership, market share, and investment of popular blogging platforms. That’s what gave us this proportionate representation of the landscape of Internet marketing.
Unfortunately, not all of the data we found is from the same year. Some of the information we pulled was from 2013, and some of it was as recent as Q1 of 2016.
That means our data is a little bit of a hodgepodge.
Still, we wanted to use it — everything is based on the most recent possible numbers, at the time of publication. But using a straight-up data comparison wouldn’t be that compelling.
So we decided to do something that hasn’t been done before: We made a map.
The map of Internet marketing
Share This Graphic On Your Site
How we made the map
Everything on the map relates to Internet marketing, and it’s all located in The Great Strategy Sea. That’s the center of the world, just like strategy is the center of Internet marketing.
Continents represent different strategies, and their land mass represents their size according to either financial investment or usership. All of that is based on the latest data we could find.
(All of our sources are at the end of this page, if you want to see them.)
The countries (or media) of each continent are listed with a white background to their text. The cities in those countries are listed in plain black text, with capital cities (or the most popular platforms for that medium) represented as a big white dot.
Landscapes represent important but lesser-known or lesser-discussed entities, all based on comparison to cities in the same country, countries in the same continents, and continents in The Great Strategy Sea.
Basically, this data isn’t revolutionary — it’s fun. And that’s something the digital marketing world should include more often.
(Also all of the names are puns.)
Is it accurate? Kind of.
Exact percentages and statistics don’t really translate that well to the natural formation and development of landmasses. Statistics are manufactured, and landmasses are organic. So while content marketing may make up about a third of corporate Internet marketing investments, it may not take up an exact 33.33% portion of the map.
Is it serious? Not really.
While the data is accurate in a general sense, we didn’t want to create the same-old, been-there-done-that kind of infographic that just compares numbers and percentages. We wanted something that appealed to a person’s sense of wonder and intrigue.
We’ve also been watching a lot of Game of Thrones.
Is it fun? Oh yes.
(Or we hope so, anyway.)
That’s the whole point of why we wanted to do this map in the first place. True, this map isn’t as exact as if you looked at bar graphs and pie charts, but nobody’s done it before.
So hopefully you have a good time with this map. And if you want to know anything more about it, check out our sources at the end.
Anyway, here’s our novella-length, completely in-character, world-building history breakdown of a map of a place that doesn’t really exist.
Internet marketing continent #1: Contentada
Demonym: Fishkinnians (Rand Fishkin)
Contentada is our first continent.
Contentada is one of the oldest inhabited lands in the Great Strategy Sea. It’s rife with ruins of attempted settlements that simply didn’t work out, for one reason or another.
There are also cities on the brink of ruin, those who have managed to scrape together a meager existence while living past their prime. Though they may be on the downswing of their bell curve, they continue to serve a small number of citizens who simply prefer the older ways of life.
Over time, Contentada has seen countless changes. Conquerors have come and gone. And over the next few years, more changes are expected on this ancient land (at least by Internet marketing standards).
The citizens of Contentada are called Fishkinnians after the famous content evangelist Rand Fishkin, Wizard of Moz, Twirler of Mustaches.
The Blogophile Empire
Motto: Write Stuff
In the early years of digital marketing, Contentada was largely undiscovered.
Most online outlets offered very little substantial information on their sites, and marketing was seen mostly as a grab for ad dollars.
Still, people settled Contentada early on, starting in the northwestern peninsula where they founded Livejournalia, Xanga, and MySpace.
These personalized blogger sites reigned supreme at first, frequently pushing each other aside in an attempt for market supremacy. Other towns, like Geocities and AngelFire, also sprang up around the continent.
But eventually, the market tipped. New technology and a strict attention to user experience transformed Contentada from a loose affiliation of non-descript blog to a full-fledged continent.
Ambitious entrepreneurs like Matt Mullenweg pulled away from the established cities and started their own. Mullenweg himself founded WordPressington, D.C., which enjoyed a sudden influx of citizens who thrived on the principles of simplicity and intuitive user control.
SquareSpace Heights, the District of Wix, Weebly Village, and Tumblr Town all sprang up throughout the region. Together, they formed the Blogophile Empire — the dominant force on Contentada — with WordPressington, D.C. as their capital.
Despite the sheer variety of the Blogophile Empire, most cities had trouble keeping their users in one place. Many claimed citizenship in multiple cities at once, while an increasing majority simply moved to WordPressington, D.C.
Today, WordPressington, D.C. is home to millions in the Blogophile Empire, and the city continues to thrive.
The Video Republic
Motto: Autoplay On
As the Blogophile Empire surged in the continent’s heartland, other states like the Video Republic emerged as well.
The Video Republic was started by YouTubaria, an ambitious city founded by Steve Chen, Jawed Karim, and Chad Hurley. These three started the popular video-sharing website that would eventually be claimed by the Great Google Dynasty on the other side of the Great Strategy Sea.
But before then, YouTubaria surged in popularity, taking the world by storm. The promise of free video hosting proved enough to lure millions of content creators and even more viewers.
From its humble beginnings, YouTubaria now enjoys about 400 hours of video uploaded every minute, far outpacing its next competitors and resulting in a thriving economy.
Though YouTubaria is indisputably the capital of the Video Republic, it’s not immune to the rising force of the towns around it.
Vimeola, while not as popular, has claimed its own portion of the Video Republic’s population, concentrating on small communities of creatives.
Viddlerton has also steadily climbed in popularity, particularly among businesses for marketing and training purposes.
Last, an invasive force of Bullasians (from Social Mediasia) have colonized the northern region of the Video Republic. They’ve built a small but fast-growing town called the Video Expedition, a colony of the Facebookish Supremacy from far overseas.
Motto: Togetherness, Engagement, Fun
Bordering the Video Republic, we have the Interactive Democracy.
This small, largely undeveloped country has very few towns. Instead, it survives on small systems of communities that share ideas.
Calculatoria is the country’s capital due to its immense popularity. A second town — Quizzington — sits on the nation’s northern coast.
Calculatoria is frequented by quick-witted, tech-savvy business citizens who want to make the next big tool for their industry. Quizzington has a reputation for providing a relaxed, non-judgmental atmosphere by comparison.
Regardless of the cities’ atmospheres, they each have citizens who are eager to participate, collaborate, and consume some of the world’s most compelling content.
Principality of User-Generated Content
Motto: Create and Win
Similarly, the Principality of User-Generated Content, or PU-GC (pronounced pug-zee), has its own traditions of participation.
Facebookia Contestica is the primary city in the country, and it’s a well-known colony of The Facebookish Supremacy.
The city began as a way for companies on Contentada to interact with their customers. Together, they created — and continue to create — some of the most unique content that the continent has ever seen.
From phenomenally good to good-try bad and we-have-to-delete-that-right-now weird, Facebookia Contestica is situated near the Lake of Prizes so that its citizens can reap the rewards of their hard work.
This spirit of competition within Facebookia Contestica proper has made the city all the more intense, with a select few winners and many more hopefuls awaiting their time in the principality’s spotlight.
Motto: We Control the Stars
The last country on Contentada is the Reviewers’ Peninsula.
This peninsula contains four towns of free people who firmly believe in the power of the common man.
The capital is Yelpswana, one of the first — and currently the most influential — cities in the land.
Yelpswana started entirely on its own based on the idea that the most powerful marketing concept in the world is word of mouth. Since Jeremy Stoppelman and Russel Simmons founded the city, it has become a major force in consumer economics.
Aside from Yelpswana, we also have Amazonia. Amazonia has a sizable citizenship simply because of how much stuff it offers. There’s never a shortage of items to review — a citizen’s favorite pastime — and there’s always something new to see.
West-Northwest of Amazonia is Reviewington, another colony sent out by the Facebookish Supremacy. This colony has steadily grown because of the Supremacy’s incredible population alone. It ensures the Supremacy’s billions have a say in nearly everything.
Last, we have Googleria My Businessica, a colony from the Great Google Dynasty that allowed Google’s billions of users to weigh in on companies that enlist to use the Dynasty’s services.
The Businessica is steadily thriving, and its people’s recommendations are known in nearly any search for a company.
Motto: Space Is Always Limited
Webinaria is an island to the northern tip of Contentada. The island’s inhabitants are fairly peaceful, and they enjoy a healthy market share of each others’ citizens.
The largest city on Webinaria is Citrixia, best known for producing the popular “GoTo” programs. It’s costly to be a citizen of Citrixia, but those who live there say they’d live nowhere else.
Next, there’s the city Adobeia. This city is a smaller offshoot of the Adobe Empire, the bulk of which is far offshore from the island of Webinaria. Adobeia started as a colonial expedition that has since evolved into a fully self-sufficient city complete with its own infrastructure.
Those who live in Adobeia swear by its incredible customization abilities. But it’s rumored that all of Adobeia’s exports require practice and patience, an invisible cost that many don’t want to pay.
The final active city on the island is ClickMeetingsville. ClickMeetingsville is similar to Citrixia, but its citizenship is slightly smaller.
Still, ClickMeetingsville doesn’t require a substantial investment from its citizens, and its products work well for the people who need them. The city’s middle-of-the-road approach has made it a hot destination for those who want a service, but don’t have a huge amount of cash at their disposal.
Finally, we have the ruins of Hangoutia. Hangoutia is a crumbled colony of the Great Google Dynasty.
At one point, it held promise for revolutionizing Webinaria. But it was too heavily tied to the success of its sibling colony on Social Mediasia, Djigoogle+. Once Djigoogle+ went down, Hangoutia didn’t have much time left.
Today, Hangoutia is still home to a small population of squatters and transients, though not enough to breathe new life into the failed colony.
Internet marketing continent #2: ArchiPPClago
Demonym: Dickimsians (Larry Kim)
The ArchiPPClago is one of the most complex lands in all of The Great Strategy Sea. Its islands are full of valuable commodities, and its booming economy produces billions in revenue.
When the continent was discovered, it was entirely deserted. As a result, the world’s most powerful nations established themselves on the land to claim its natural bounty.
To this day, four colonies control much of the continent’s resources with a ragtag group of stragglers gaining as much market share and territory as possible.
Collectively, residents of ArchiPPClago are known as Dickimsians in honor of the prominent PPC analyst Larry Kim.
Great Isle of AdWords
Motto: First and Best
The Great Isle of AdWords was discovered and settled by the Great Google Dynasty several years before any other nation found ArchiPPClago.
As the only force on the continent, the Great Google Dynasty had plenty of time to expand, innovate, and improve without the threat of impending borders. The Dynasty spread across the entire continent in a matter of months with no opposition.
But, slowly, other nations settled their own colonies.
Motto: Billions Served
The Facebookish Supremacy established Businessidonia on the opposite side of ArchiPPClago to avoid direct conflict with the Great Isle of AdWords.
Businessidonia started small, but it grew sizably as the Supremacy also brought more citizens within its walls.
Over the past 10+ years, Businessidonia has thrived as the Supremacy has swelled with citizens, offering companies the opportunity to approach more than 1 billion citizens.
Businessidonia has avoided conflict with the Great Isle of AdWords since they serve two different audiences. But the structure of their colonies is largely the same — user-guided advertisements for their billions of citizens.
Motto: Swift and Growing
More than half a decade after The Great Google Dynasty established its colony, the Bing Nation — prior to becoming Bing-Yahoo — sent its own settlers to ArchiPPClago.
These settlers founded Bingadsjistan. To date, it’s the largest threat to the Great Isle of AdWords.
Bingadsjistan claims roughly a third of ArchiPPClago’s territory, and it’s in a constant state of war with the Great Isle.
To date, the two colonies haven’t yielded any sizable amount of ground to one another, making their citizens question if there’s much of any available territory left to claim in the continent as a whole.
Motto: Shorter Than a Text Message, Greater Than a Text Message
The Adsland Cluster is a fairly small colony that nevertheless manages to serve its citizens and advertisers loyally.
Twittisia founded the Adsland Cluster long after the other three colonies had swelled to grand proportions. As a result, the Cluster is the smallest of the four major colonies on ArchiPPClago.
Still, Twittisia’s colony has established a firm presence on the continent. It’s still far larger than the minor colonies, and it enjoys a steady stream of revenue for Twittisia as a whole.
Internet marketing continent #3: SEOmerica
Demonym: Cutters (Matt Cutts)
SEOmerica was founded years ago, slightly after the discovery and settlement of Contentada.
Since its settlement, SEOmerica has seen significant changes in the continent’s dominant force. What was once a loose affiliation of small states squabbling for power has consolidated into a much more significant and centralized battle for supremacy.
That makes SEOmerica one of the most volatile lands in the Great Strategy Sea, despite its small number of countries.
Each country constantly works to outdo the others in feats of innovation or imitation while the citizens reap the benefits of their competition.
What works for one country often works for another. And if one country finds you favorable, you can bet that another one does as well.
The people of SEOmerica are known as Cutters. They’re named for Matt Cutts, a major figure from the Great Google Dynasty who reached out to citizens to help them understand how the Dynasty functioned.
The Great Google Dynasty
Motto: Do the Right Thing (Also Own That Thing)
The Great Google Dynasty is by far the largest presence on SEOmerica. It’s advanced, cunning, and innovative, which allows the Dynasty as a whole to remain the dominant continental force.
Its capital, Algorithmica, is the focal point of the Dynasty’s attention. The exact plans behind Algorithmica’s founding and maintenance are largely unknown to the public, and the Dynasty protects its secrets with extensive measures.
Algorithmica is physically situated to reap the benefits of the Panda Sea and Hummingbird Meadows, along with smaller geographical features like the Pigeon River. The Penguin Isles also belong to the Dynasty.
Along with those features, the Great Google Dynasty has covertly cut out a wash of secluded caves and caverns in the remote north of the continent, naming it RankBrain.
Aside from a select few in the Dynasty, no one is quite sure about the exact nature of the caverns or what RankBrain will do in the future. The Secret Caverns of RankBrain themselves are heavily guarded, and it’s unlikely that the public will ever learn anything definite about them.
The Great Google Dynasty was also responsible for edging out the precious few settlers who arrived in SEOmerica before it. The Dynasty then restricted those settlers to small reservations far off the continental mainland, essentially isolating them from the majority of SEOmerica’s population.
Today, those settlers carry on in Lycosity, Asktopia, and AltaVistaMesa.
Meanwhile, the Great Google Dynasty faces a fierce ground war with its nearest enemy, the Bing-Yahoo Nation.
While the Dynasty far outnumbers the Nation, the war has proven to be fierce as neither side yields sizable or permanent territory.
The Bing-Yahoo Nation
Motto: Alliances + Partnerships = Victory(?)
The Bing-Yahoo Nation is an alliance between two of the Google Dynasty’s biggest threats — Bing and Yahoo.
The alliance has given them the chance to establish a foothold on a generous portion of SEOmerica, though it’s still far less than the Great Google Dynasty claims.
And since the nations of Bing and Yahoo have set aside their differences, they’ve charged against the Great Google Dynasty in war.
The border between them is in constant flux, and both companies have significant financial backing to take on the hegemon of SEOmerica.
There’s no end in sight, either. With more troops heading to the front lines every day, the Bing-Yahoo Nation’s capital of Micro-Yahoo constantly loses valuable citizens.
But at the same time, so does the Great Google Dynasty.
The give and take has helped the Nation maintain its small share of SEOmerica, which it jealously guards against the smaller countries to the south.
Motto: Expansion, Exploration, Expedience
Yandexamy has a small presence on SEOmerica, but it’s gained popularity in areas that Google and Bing-Yahoo frequently don’t reach.
That small niche of citizens has helped Yandexamy thrive as it’s innovated in its own ways in an attempt to siphon immigrants from the larger presences on SEOmerica.
At the present time, Yandexamy seems unconcerned with acquiring sizable tracts of land on SEOmerica. Instead, they appear to focus on building their own systems as they engage their niche and safely grow.
Yandexamy could be playing catch-up to Bing-Yahoo and Google.
Or, it could be biding its time.
Motto: By the Power of China
Baiduyana is a peculiar presence on SEOmerica since it’s not much concerned with the other countries on the continent.
Instead, Baiduyana is focused on serving its inherent niche of citizens. This is mostly because Baiduyana has isolated its citizens from most other areas on SEOmerica, particularly the Great Google Dynasty.
By choice, Baiduyana has kept itself apart from the warfare and dealings of its neighbors. But, as with Yandexamy, Baiduyana could easily prove to be innovative and impactful further in the future.
Internet marketing continent #4: Displayfrica
Demonym: AdSensfricans (Google AdSense)
Displayfrica is a smaller continent in the Great Strategy Sea, but it has its own sizable population of citizens.
The first travelers to Displayfrica landed there more than 20 years ago, when the land was significantly different.
Since then, dozens of new settlers have landed there to claim territory in the name of faraway countries. Others have sought their own fortune by creating independent cities.
Today, those independent lands make up much of Displayfrica with a colony from the Great Google Dynasty rounding out the continent.
Denizens of Displayfrica are known as AdSensfricans, named for the most popular city in the land, the AdSense Expedition.
Motto: What’s Good for One Is Good for All
The Great Google Dynasty founded the AdSense Expedition to earn even more resources for the Great Google Dynasty.
The Expedition has proven itself a smart investment as it continues to grow and serve a sizable population of Displayfrica as a whole.
However, unlike the Dynasty’s presences on ArchiPPClago or SEOmerica, it faces significantly more opposition on Displayfrica.
Here, the Expedition is not in a guaranteed spot of safety. At any point, its aggressive competitors could close in on the colony and take more citizens for themselves.
Motto: Content, Connection, Consumers
Vibrantica Mediosha is a relative newcomer to Displayfrica. As one of the many independent cities, it’s home to a significant population of Displayfrica.
Mediosha itself is situated on the edge of the continent, ensuring it’s ready for any potential expansion project to other lands in the Great Strategy Sea.
While it may expand at some point, its future isn’t clear to the public yet.
For now, it simply operates as a major opponent to the Dynasty’s colony.
Motto: Volume, Quantity, Profit
Specific Mediafrica is a slightly smaller presence on Displayfrica.
It serves its people in much the same way as Vibrantica Mediosha, its northern neighbor, and faces a gentle conflict with its neighbors for territory and population.
Recently, the city has initiated trade agreements with an offshore ally, AOLia. The two cities now work in conjunction with one another under AOLia’s banner, while Specific Mediafrica maintains its presence on the Displayfrican mainland.
Motto: The Future of Digital
Pulse Pointia is home to a forward-thinking, thriving population of business-savvy individuals.
Pulse Pointia frequently conflicts with its neighbors, though not to the harsh extent as the SEOmerican wars.
Still, even as a relatively lesser-felt presence, Pulse Pointia has carved out its own healthy portion of the continent, along with a fine population.
Motto: Here in the Beginning, Here Until the End
By the standards of other countries around the Great Strategy Sea, AOLia is older than ancient. Its history stretches far into the past as one of the very first presences on the Internet in general, when the Great Strategy Sea was just the Small Strategy Pond.
Though AOLia is now a shell of its former glory, it maintains a strong presence off the mainland of Displayfrica. Its new alliance with Specific Mediafrica will help diversify its population and trade revenue as well, which could eventually give the duo a population majority on the continent.
But for now, AOLia concentrates on serving its people and approaching rival cities with a unique mindset.
That’s because AOLia is far wealthier than most cities on Displayfrica, and they know it.
They don’t have to compete when they can forge financial alliances and buy new land for themselves.
Internet marketing continent #5: Social Mediasia
Demonym: Bullasians (Jeff Bullas)
Social Mediasia is a hotly-contested continent with hundreds of smaller presences off the mainland.
But on the mainland, there’s a conflict that rivals the war on SEOmerica in size and ferocity. While the large countries serve specific niches — and even offer multiple citizenships — there’s a constant battle for territory on Social Mediasia, even as many say the continent is all taken.
While Social Mediasia was once diverse, the powerful Facebookish Supremacy has all but conquered the cities that were similar to it. The Supremacy has grown into a hegemonic force — like the Great Google Dynasty — that touches nearly every other continent in the Great Strategy Sea.
The citizens of Social Mediasia are known as Bullasians after Jeff Bullas, social media strategist and self-caricaturist.
The Facebookish Supremacy
Motto: Ours Is Legion
The Facebookish Supremacy is by far the largest and most influential presence on Social Mediasia.
It’s the only country on the continent to have multiple cities. Its capital — Friendadelphia — is the initial attraction that drew so many to the Supremacy and helped it expand in the early years.
Eventually, as the Supremacy grew, it founded new cities like Statuska, Newsfeedria, and Photocia, in addition to many others.
Even as the dominant country, its people are known to be fickle. New cities are often regarded with contempt until they’ve proven their worth, and failed experiments frequently find themselves washed underneath the Supremacy’s shores.
But the Supremacy is an ambitious state. It approaches its competition in much the same way as AOLia.
Why fight when you can purchase?
Today, the Facebookish Supremacy is a focal point for many on Social Mediasia, whether they’re casual citizens or companies. Next to the Great Google Dynasty, the Supremacy is perhaps the strongest single state in the Great Strategy Sea.
Motto: Seriously, Take a Picture — It’ll Last Longer
The nation of Instagram was once a proud, small, and visually-focused people. But it grew to immense proportions.
And as it grew, it opened trade agreements with its neighbor, the Facebookish Supremacy.
Several years ago, however, the Facebookish Supremacy annexed the comparatively smaller island nation of Instagram. Today, the Instagram Annex is one of the Facebookish Supremacy’s best-known acquisitions.
The Instagram Annex also gave the Supremacy the entire northern shoreline of the Great Facebook Bay, effectively distancing the combined nation from other social states with niche populations of their own.
Today, the Instagram Annex remains a powerful force for visually-oriented material. Its successful integration with the Facebookish Supremacy has made it incredibly powerful by its own rights, to the point where it alone is a threat to whole states on Social Mediasia.
Twittisia’s people are known for their terseness and taking extreme creative liberties with language.
They’ve also earned a reputation for saying very little, but saying it very loudly.
Their capital, Tweetston, is home to millions of citizens. The nation as a whole is approaching the same size as the Facebookish Supremacy.
But Twittisia has frequent issues with fraud within its borders. Impersonators and spammers flock to Twittisia because of its easy use and lack of validation services (except for those who choose to pay).
Still, Twittisia is a thriving nation with a healthy population and strong economy. While some parts of it may require you to find protection in numbers, it’s a sizable force on Social Mediasia.
The Pinterest Peninsula is another visually-oriented society, similar to Instagram.
But the Peninsula is more oriented to user interaction and sharing than the Instagram Annex.
The Peninsula itself — whose citizens are overwhelmingly female — thrives from its capital of Pin City. There, its population freely exchanges images, ideas, and word-of-mouth recommendations that grow the entire country economically.
Even while sharing a border with Twittisia, the Pinterest Peninsula has eked out a sizable chunk of Social Mediasia with a healthy population of eager, corporate-friendly citizens that simply love to share.
That positivity and independence makes the Peninsula unique among other countries on Social Mediasia. That could mean the Peninsula will one day be acquired by another country, like the Facebook Supremacy, or it could one day become an acquirer itself.
Motto: Earn Your Way
The LinkedIn Meritocracy was once an independent state filled with professionals eager to create a career-oriented network.
While its citizens’ attitude shave remained the same, its independence has not.
The Meritocracy was recently acquired by Microsoft — half of the Bing-Yahoo Nation.
This has yet to create any kind of change for the Meritocracy, except for the end result of its revenue streams. Instead of fully funding the Meritocracy itself, it now also funds a portion of the Bing-Yahoo Nation and other lands far from the Great Strategy Sea.
Motto: If You Look at the Numbers, We’re Technically Winning
DjiGoogle+ is a well-known yet under-populated portion of Social Mediasia.
While once stated to be larger than the Facebookish Supremacy, DjiGoogle+ has fallen into disrepair. It stands as a shell of its former self, serving a small and dedicated population of loosely-affiliated citizens.
As a colony of the Great Google Dynasty, DjiGoogle+ has the distinction of being a more-or-less failure (which it shares with Hangoutia on Contentada) while retaining some form of citizenship.
DjiGoogle+ is slowly being forced from its landing point on Social Mediasia. Its stubbornly loyal population will likely allow the colony to keep its hold on the continent for the coming years.
And, with the backing of the Great Google Dynasty, it’s unlikely DjiGoogle+ will disappear any time soon — even if it winds up costing the Dynasty more than it helps.
Internet marketing continent #6: Mobilzambique
Demonym: Grossmen (Emily Grossman)
Mobilzambique is another continent in the Great Strategy Sea that has only recently become inhabited.
It’s actually home to dozens — maybe even hundreds — of different countries and colonies, but it’s dominated by a select few.
Those few war against one another for whatever small bits of territory they can find, though frequently only one or two actually lose territory.
Mobilzambique has become a hotbed of innovation and advancement for all of those in the Great Strategy Sea. It’s becoming larger by the hour, and one day its countries may even jump to surrounding continents and stake greater claims to the world at large.
But for the time being, they mainly fight among themselves.
The people of Mobilzambique are known as Grossmen, though not because they do anything weird. They’re named after Emily Grossman, prominent mobile marketing expert and speaker of specialist firm Mobile Moxie.
Motto: Customizable, User-Friendly, and Technically Under Investigation
Androidica is the primary presence on Mobilzambique, which is strange since the city itself is a colony of the Great Google Dynasty.
While Androidica started on its own merits, its growth and citizenship has accelerated since its acquisition by the Dynasty. It’s spread throughout the world, and its citizenship is perhaps the most diverse of any other country in the Great Strategy Sea.
Androidica’s opposition on Mobilzambique is fierce. But with support from the Dynasty, it’s been able to push back territory from Windowshia, Blackberry Ferry, and its most fearsome enemy, Appleton.
Motto: From Computers to Phones
Windowshia is a colony of Microsoft, the same faraway nation that acquired the LinkedIn Meritocracy.
As a colony, Windowshia has the full support of a megalithic entity, just like Androidica. Still, its citizenship has remained sparse by comparison.
Its internal partnerships and outside alliances don’t match the volume or quality of Androidica’s, which has made Windowshia lose sizeable tracts of territory.
Windowshia has also had trouble discovering a specific niche population that would allow it to thrive, as its neighbors have already established.
While Windowshia remains a strong presence on Mobilzambique as a whole, Microsoft certainly has other investments that have proven to be more lucrative.
Motto: The Future Is Now
By age, Appleton is the second-oldest presence on Mobilzambique. But it has the youngest citizenship of any other country on Mobilzambique.
Appleton has struck a chord with its niche demographic of hip 20-somethings and ambitious professionals.
This combination population has led it into direct conflict with Androidica and Blackberry Ferry.
While Appleton struggles to expand into the territory of Androidica, it has deftly whittled away at Blackberry Ferry’s population of professionals.
Appleton has done everything in its power to make itself young, attractive, hip, and desirable. By comparison, its neighboring countries simply cannot keep up.
Motto: Research Still in Motion
Blackberry Ferry is the oldest presence on Mobilzambique. At one point, it dominated the entire continent with only a handful of squabbling city-states to challenge it.
But then Appleton emerged, adding a new face to Mobilzambique and gradually atrophying Blackberry Ferry’s northern border.
Blackberry Ferry has been in retreat ever since, unable to withstand the sudden loss of population and its products appearing “old” by comparison to Appleton.
The aggressive expansion of Androidica also took from Blackberry Ferry’s residential population, leaving it with few companies and consumers within its borders.
With the appearance of Windowshia, Blackberry Ferry has struggled to maintain a workable population. It’s beset on all sides by enemies, and as a living relic of Mobilzambique’s past, its days may already be numbered.
Internet marketing continent #7: Emailquatorial Guinea
Demonym: Kaganites (Noah Kagan)
Emailquatorial Guinea is one of the smallest continents in the Great Strategy Sea, but it’s also one of the wealthiest.
The inhabitants of the continent have devised a simple, cost-effective way to generate money. As a result, they enjoy a much lower rate of investment and a much higher rate of return than every other continent.
That has made Emailquatorial Guinea something of a luxurious hotspot in the Great Strategy Sea. New countries have sprung up throughout the continent’s islands, many of them claimed by a single city-state.
New technologies have also found their way onto Emailquatorial Guinea’s borders, showing promise for the future, once the kinks are fixed.
Those living in Emailquatorial Guinea are known as Kaganites, named for famed email marketing innovator and sumo-dork Noah Kagan.
The Outreach Isles
Motto: Not Spam
The Outreach Isles are a collection of islands in the northern part of Emailquatorial Guinea.
They don’t specifically belong to anyone, but they make up a fair portion of the continent all the same.
These islands are ruled collectively by groups of people who come and go as they please, staying on the islands for a time and then moving to another continent to pursue interests.
A small portion of Kaganites remain in the Outreach Isles region to refine their craft and perfect it. However, they don’t typically live in any one country of Emailquatorial Guinea.
Instead, they live and work elsewhere.
These occasional visitors are experts at promoting the work of other continents, particularly Contentada and the Blogophile Empire.
These kindly, ambitious Kaganites attempt to forge positive relationships in the spirit of mutual benefit. While some in the Great Strategy Sea consider them to be spammers, these Kaganites remain respectful of their recipients’ wishes and refrain from violating any laws.
Motto: Not Spam, Made Easy
The MailChimpippines are a large, sprawling country that includes multiple islands in Emailquatorial Guinea.
The country itself has expanded based on the quality and resulting popularity of its offerings. All of its citizens enjoy some of the most cutting-edge and user-friendly technology to be found in Emailquatorial Guinea.
The MailChimpippines are a major force behind the continent’s economic success. Its citizens are experts at low-cost, high-yield investments that benefit companies and consumers alike.
The country faces little conflict from the surrounding area, and it’s successfully forced back most opposition to smaller islands in the region.
But with that in mind, the MailChimpippines has at least one major threat.
Constant Contact Island
Motto: Stay in Touch, Like, All the Time
Constant Contact Island is the largest landmass in Emailquatorial Guinea. It’s also the main opposition to the MailChimpippines’ continental dominance.
Constant Contact Island has managed to stave off the MailChimpippines’ advancements by digging into the borders of the island and fiercely protecting its people.
Its loyal citizens support the island entirely, and while there is some come-and-go between the rivals, they both have phenomenal retention rates for their Kaganites.
Still, neither nation could have quite predicted a sudden uprising in the southwestern-most island.
Motto: Too Close, or Not Too Close Enough?
Texstralia is a large island, but it’s home to dozens of warring cities and states. Much like the early days of SEOmerica, Textstralia is bound to one day consolidate into major cities in an effort to take the island under a single name.
The Kaganites of Emailquatorial Guinea are slightly different from the Kaganites of the other islands.
Textstralians are impersonal in the traditional sense, but highly social in a digital sense. They scarcely make eye contact with one another, but they’re nevertheless constantly in each other’s faces.
Those bold enough to brave Textstralia have found it strange, and they’re currently working out the best ways to make Textstralia a respectable location by its own merits.
But while MailChimpippines and Constant Contact Island have kept close tabs on Textstralia — even venturing onto the island themselves — no clear state has come out among the others as a dominant force.
It’s possible that Textstralia’s Kaganites will one day grow to be too many and claim their own section of the world — possibly even further into Emailquatorial Guinea.
But for now, the island is in the midst of fierce infighting and power struggles. With only one major city and frequent skirmishes across the land, no one is quite sure what will happen in Textstralia in the future.
Where’s your home on the landscape of Internet marketing?
We want to know where you live in the landscape of Internet marketing. Personally, I jump around a lot of cities: WordPressington, D.C., Androidica, Tweetston, DjiGoogle+, and — of course — Algorithmica.
Where are your citizenships? Let us know on Twitter or Facebook!
And if you really like the map, rehost it with your thoughts and share some puns with your market-savvy friends.
Really. Go for it.
We FXers are not a jealous people.
Our sources and additional reading:
Special recognition to XKCD for inspiration.